Exploring Faith: Zak’s redemption

Faith requires trusting in the unknown and being fully aware of your limitations as a red blooded form of flesh and bones. Faith makes a fool of what makes sense but it is in the confusion, that we find direction. It is in the confusion that we learn to trust in the unknown. It is in the confusion that we learn to believe in what we truly want. It is in the confusion that we learn to lean on something else besides ourselves. I would like to thank everyone who’s been supporting the Crimson Series and I want to hear from you. Do you think Zak (the lead male protagonist in my book) deserves to be redeemed?

Excerpt from Crimson Death (The Crimson #2)
Zak

“Do you believe in miracles Zak?” Thembi asks me before I step out of the car. I stare at my sister from the corner of my eye and somehow the answer comes naturally to me.
I smile. A sad smile that doesn’t reach my eyes, but still, it feels good to just smile given all that has happened. “My life is a miracle Thembi.”
“Do you think life is pre-destined no matter the efforts one makes or the prayers?”
Confused, I raise a brow at her. “This is broad Thembz, in what sense?”
“Do you think that people are what they are no matter what? That, you were always meant to be this guy, proud and successful and that Khaya was always meant to be that guy who’s sad, broken and sick?”
Understanding dawns on me as she says this. I take her cold hands in mine and look deep into her eyes. “Life is all about choices babe. A war of cause and effect and I think there is life and death simultaneously in every choice that we make.”
“Are you proud of your choices?” Thembi then asks me and I suddenly know what she’s really trying to say to me. This is about Khaya – what she thinks I did to him and how his life turned out in general.
I should be angry.
I should be fuming at the fact that everyone seems to think that I am personally responsible for how Khaya’s life has turned out but I don’t let the anger consume me. I think my family has had enough pain and anger to last us a lifetime.
“Khaya is his own person and his choices are his and his alone to carry,” I try to reason with my sister.
“Are you proud of your choices Zak?” Thembi asks again, not letting me off the hook.
Fuck, I am tired of taking the blame for everything. Again, I should be angry. I should be angry but I’m not. Instead, I have a deep realization about it all that has never really dawned on me before until now that I am forced to seek it.
“I am not proud of all my choices Thembi, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.”

aya and zak quote

 

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